> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.noteofdaring.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Creating a Quiet Inbox - URL: https://www.noteofdaring.com/creating-a-quiet-inbox/ - Published: 2024-09-03T20:35:59.000Z - Updated: 2026-09-09T15:29:20.000Z - Description: The problem is that communication is not connection. - Author: Rachel Thompson - Tags: Strategy ## The Inbox Edit This summer I’ve been very intentionally unsubscribing from a ton of email newsletters across the whole range of sources. Many unsubscribes are easy decisions. The clothing store newsletter that resubscribes me when I buy a new pair of jeans. No, I don’t want your daily deals on clothes I don’t need or want. Or the pure spam from companies selling me unsolicited services. **And then there are the newsletters I want(ed) and enjoy(ed)…. or at least feel they have that potential if only I read them.** The challenge here is the necessity of filtering through the piles of content that appeared in my inbox. And how sometimes I’ve let that inbox be the boss of my attention. We like to talk about focusing, but actually making the choices and tradeoffs require a shift in behavior. And I don’t want to just will myself to only check my email at this time and that time. ## Practicing Discernment Strategy means making challenging choices that lead to tradeoffs. And the underlying effort of that requires a level of discernment. But what does it mean to be discerning? For me it means asking myself questions for the incoming content. - *What newsletters (and therefore related content, ideas, inspiration, news, etc.) do I want to miss out on intentionally?* Knowing that I can still seek it out if my interest renews or I want to follow my energy in the moment. But I’m turning off the visual noise in my inbox. - *What makes the cut and why?* Which things do I actually read versus the things I aspire to read and never do. It’s the aspirational ones that I waver on. Or the ones by people I support but with newsletters that aren’t for me one way or another. Being discerning is hard and requires tradeoffs. ## Demoting my Email This entire effort is a piece of a larger effort to shift the power that communication tools have over my attention and focus. A habit built throughout the work world seems to be excessively available via email (or whatever messaging system the company uses). A ton of information is relayed via these tools. And the weight of the expectations attached is even heavier. One outcome I’ve experiences is that this communication tool has a tendency to be the boss of my attention. And it’s a bad boss. But if my email box is quiet, with very little visual noise, and highly-curated content then that lends itself to a shift. A shift where I’ve done the work to demote my email inbox to what it is.. a communication tool. Which brings up my next point. ## Managing the Splatter of Communication Tools The email inbox is the main hub of communication \[tools\] in our lives. We have so many more, most of which offer ways to consolidate by sending notifications to your email. **And, like many people, I have a lot of ways to communicate with a lot of people.** Here’s an inventory of mine: - Email - my personal email, my work email, another work email for a client - MS Teams - for a client - Slack - three different groups including a business coaching program, my coworking space, a NC meetup group for remote workers - Circle - five different groups all business related - Text Groups - 2-3 active text groups for my softball and volleyball teams - WhatsApp - a 2-3 semi-active chat groups with friends, plus one entrepreneurial community (though they said they’re moving to Discord) - Signal - 2 active groups for a meetup I co-organize and an event I’m planning - GroupMe - 2-3 muted pick-up volleyball chats - And more currently on my phone → Instagram/Threads, LinkedIn, Medium, Meetup, Mighty Networks, MarcoPolo It's an overwhelming amount, that I’ve worked to manage by turning off 95% of notifications and trying to be discerning in how I engage with what when. In the press for engagement and attention, these all have various pings, banners, badges, and email notification options in case we want to consolidate our communication - and related visual noise and bossy tendencies - to our inbox or phone screen. - *But what if I don’t want to consolidate my communication tools?* - *What if I want to proactively engage instead of reactively react?* - *What if I want to be the boss of my own attention and focus?* **Because the consolidation of communication tools is not the problem, nor the solution. A new app consolidating all the noise doesn’t mean it isn’t still noise.** ## The Problem is Communication is not the same as Connection. If what I’m craving is deeper belonging and mutual connection with another living breathing human, that does require communication yes, but **communication is not the same as connection**. And yet, often, I think I mistake communication as connection. I’ve noticed that when I’m craving connection I reach for my phone and browse through the pile of content and communications. That never satisfying the craving. The work of processing through communications and browsing communication tools is a false feeling of connection. It’s close enough that you feel like you should feel satiated and you might not be as hungry anymore, but it misses the mark. And so, I’ve been working to quiet my inboxes, demote my email, and dial up my attention on responding, connecting, and building relationships.