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# The Point of Retreating is Returning
- URL: https://www.noteofdaring.com/retreating-and-the-energy-of-people/
- Published: 2025-02-11T18:41:46.000Z
- Updated: 2026-09-09T15:38:32.000Z
- Description: And how we structured a self-organized retreat
- Author: Rachel Thompson
- Tags: Strategy

On a recent Wednesday morning, I drove 3.5 hours from where I live in central North Carolina to spend a few days with visual practitioner and facilitator friends at a beach house on the outer banks. This is the fifth semi-annual retreat I’ve done with this mix of people and every time it feels like a lovely and energizing retreat.

A retreat is a step away from the routines and defaults of daily life. It’s a chance to shift the flow of attention, step out onto the balcony of life, and consider the view.

There are lots of flavors of retreating from attending conferences to pure vacations.

One of my favorite ways to retreat involves a group of 4 - 8 people gathering for a long weekend at a house somewhere, where we just hang out with a mix of deep conversations, shared food, and a mix of activity and solitude.

The energy of people gathering in a new place for a specific amount of time lends itself to crafting the energy of the retreat. I often reflect on how things are going, explore options for the future, strategize about what choices and decisions need to be made, and make plans.

Activities that have happened this past retreat:

- An evening game of Dune Uprising.
- A recorded role-play mini-facilitation to help one person get certified.
- An impromptu group stretch.
- An in-depth strategic conversation about the future of an organization.
- A beach walk along the water talking about the future of a meet-up I co-organize and what’s next.
- Strategic and planning conversations about the Ampersand Gathering.
- A half day of client work.
- Tons of cross-conversations about the various projects and ideas people are working on developing.
- A trip to a local breakfast place for pancakes.

The magic (and the point) of retreating is the clarity and energy that I bring back into my normal ‘real’ life which helps advance the projects and ideas we talked about while retreating.

The point of retreating is returning.

## The Structure of Our Retreats

One element I appreciate about retreating with other facilitators is we all lean into setting up agreements and structures that support our retreat experience.

### Invitation

In [Priya Parker](https://www.priyaparker.com/?ref=noteofdaring.com)’s book The Art of Gathering, she discusses how the gathering actually starts from the moment of awareness - usually the invitation. A thoughtful invitation gives context and sets the tone and expectations for the gathering. When the same group gets together repeatedly, it’s simple to say - this is what we did last time and we are aiming for a similar vibe, you in?

But it is also powerful to ask the question instead of just defaulting to what happened last time. Asking the question lets the experience grow and shift as people’s needs change.

### Purpose

Our retreats center around working on creative personal projects around other people also working on creative personal projects - often with a theme of facilitation, and visual practice - and connecting with peers around shared projects. In this case, the NOVA Scribes meetup co-organizers.

### Agreements

How will we run our self-organized retreat?

- **Keep it Light →** Simple logistics on one Google Doc plus a chat group.

  - Details about the house, cost split, room arrangements, who's arriving when, carpooling, who is cooking which meal, what projects people are planning to work on, and a list of board games and fun things people are bringing.
- **Follow Your Energy →** Tune into what feels good for you and let that guide your actions.

  - Our baseline behavior is to show up at the house and hang out with a vague structure around shared meals. We don’t plan excursions and activities and eat most meals at home. Someone may offer an invitation, but if you want to take a walk on the beach at sunset, nap, or keep working on a project….do that instead.
- **Make Requests →** Ask for what you want.

  - We want to have a fulfilling retreat, so creating a place for people to make requests to the group helps with that.

### Endings are Beginnings

After a few days, we packed up, cleaned out the fridge, took a final walk down to the beach, and piled into various cars to drive back to our lives with new energy, clarity, and ideas for projects and activities.

The point of retreating is returning. And the ending of the retreat means the beginning of the next moment.

**How do you feel about retreats? What would one look like for you?**